So, the 1st May 2015, was exactly 3 months since ‘Regina George’. I am finding it difficult to explain how that makes me feel – obviously, it is an amazing feeling to know that in that time I have managed to heal my back fracture. The back is absolute agony and the damage that is still there is huge, but I have now begun the slow process of rehabilitation. I have to do 30 mins of physio every day, twice a day. I am also able to go ‘swimming’ – I have been 3 times this week. I am not at a level to even swim yet, but I can go in the water and just ‘float’ which is helping with getting my back mobilised again. It’s amazing in the water – the pain disappears as it is weightless. The problem is as soon as I get out the pool – I struggle to even dry myself. The other women in the changing room definitely think I am the most laziest daughter ever, getting my Mum to pass me my clothes, help me get my jeans on, brush my hair for me, dry my hair, pick my towel up. Sometimes I think it would be better if I had a little sign to say ‘recovering from a broken back’ because to look at me, there is nothing visibly wrong, I just look very lazy! Not like a true unicorn, that’s for sure!
However, I feel that this week has really made me realise a few things…
- Broken bones heal and in the grand scheme of things, they heal relatively quickly.
- Muscles, ligaments, cartilage and everything else around the bones do not heal as quickly and are really so painful.
- A head injury and everything that comes with a head injury, is probably going to be the longest of all my injuries to recover.
I have read back the post I wrote the other day and I even considered taking it down because I didn’t like how negative it sounded but I have realised, for myself, I need to be honest and post everything so I can see the progress that I am making each day. So many people continuously say how ‘positive’ I stay but they also remind me that it is normal to have ‘down’ days. As the weeks go by, I really notice a cycle in my mood/attitude/feelings towards this situation. The metaphor I am using for it is like climbing a big mountain. I climb for days, then reach an incredible view point, which I see as a ‘milestone’ – for example, the day I could climb the stairs and go back into my bedroom after 6 weeks of sleeping downstairs. I then continue onto the next ‘view point’ but on the way, I ‘trip up,’ and that is when I have a ‘fed up day’ but then I’m off again to reach the next view point. May sound silly but in my head, that is how I picture it.
This week has been a big one, my dream of moving to Australia has really been pushed away (temporarily) and that has been the one thing that has been keeping me going but now that I have had a few days to think about it, I’m just going to still keep that as my goal and think about every physio session I do each day, every counseling session I go to, every swim I do, every day when I achieve something new (my aim for the next week is to be able to stand up whilst brushing my teeth, at the moment I have to lie down as my back cant stand for that time) – every time I do these things, I am one massive step closer to leading a fully independent life and continuing with my dream of living in Australia. If being hit by a car can’t stop me, nothing will!
Here is a photo of how I spent some of the bank holiday weekend – having a lovely brunch at Laura’s house with the girls!
That’s all for now.
Lots of love from