Getting the answer I never wanted to hear

This whole accident has lead to so many unanswered questions:

– Will the brace do it’s job and fix my back?

– Am I going to need spinal surgery in the future?

– Will I ever make a full recovery?

– Are my nerves always going to be damaged?

– Am I going to suffer from very severe migraines for life?

– Will my concentration ever be back to what it was?

– Will I get over my fear of cars?

The list is completely endless and it would be boring for me to write all these out on here but, you get the idea. Slowly, most of those questions have been answered for me. However the biggest unanswered question for me was:

“When will I be able to move to Australia and begin my life over there, as was meant to be happening on 17th March 2015?”

Today, the 29th April 2015, the ‘Australia’ question has finally been answered by my neurologist and it was the news I never wanted to hear. The trauma I have encountered is really serious (which I already knew but was reinforcecd to me today) and the head injury that has been caused is severe, meaning I am vulnerable and not stable at the moment. He has advised that I take a full year ‘out’ to make a full recovery.

This might take less than a year for me to get to the stage where I can move to Australia but he told me, only I will know when that is.

I am struggling to explain how this news is making me feel. For so long now, I have just been saying ‘I just want answers’ and for the whole 11 weeks of wearing my back brace, I had my heart set on moving to Australia in June. This whole situation is so unfair. None of it is my fault and because of one persons idiotic decision, I am left suffering with pain, fear, heartache, boredom, frustration, stress, anxiety, sleepless nights…the list is endless!

I am really scared to tell Jeff the news when he wakes up. I shall be writing again in a few days when the news has sunk in and I have got my head around the new plan for 2015.

I find it so helpful on days like today to write everything down.

Lots of love from

Laura

xoxoxox

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